Expediting Spring

February 23, 2009

My friend Jodeen warns people that I own a .22 and a sledgehammer, and I'm not afraid to use them.  She is right, but whenever I use either one, I know my rational solutions to problems have failed.  Take today, for example.

It's a sunny day in late February, about 9 degrees above zero.  A fresh blanket of snow fell yesterday and left white dollops on the yew tree outside my window.  It's pretty, but I'm tired of winter.  There isn't much for prairie admirers to do in the middle of winter, except practice identifying plants by their winter stalks.  Spring takes too long to arrive in Minnesota, so the last few years, I've have tried to expedite the process by starting seeds in my greenhouse.

This morning, the greenhouse heater roared to life when I flipped the switch.  While I stacked black plastic pots along the deserted benches, the temperature slowly rose, and with it the scent of spring emerged out of the dirt and old leaves. I was in heaven!

I began puttering with various thermometers and gadgets.  All was going well until I discovered the end of the phone line connecting the freeze alarm was, ironically, frozen under a thirty gallon metal garbage can, which fill of debris, was sitting outside exactly where I left it in the fall.  When things like this happen, I feel like a character in the 1960's television show "Green Acres." None of my education or training has prepared me for resolving problems like this.

I made several trips from the kitchen with hot water.  Still, the can would not budge.  First, I looked for my crowbar.  When did I last use the crowbar?  I couldn't remember.  As I looked through the open shed wishing I were more organized, (Are you remembering that it is only nine degrees above zero?)  I saw my trusty sledgehammer!

I took several healthy swings at the bottom of the garbage can.  No luck.  The ice was thick under the can.  The sledgehammer only banged up the thing metal side and ice ships flew in several directions.  I had to abandon the idea of extracting the end of the phone line from under the ice.  I had to cut it.  This meant the inception of another project: finding a way to reattach a plastic connector onto the phone line, so it can be plugged in.  I see several trips to the hardware store in my future.

In the meantime, I'll monitor the temperature in the greenhouse manually with a wireless thermometer and nurture seeds I will start in the dining room, my prairie in the making.